


Enough

by RavenclawPianist



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Ace!Fred, Gen, I'm Sorry, So much angst, spoilers for the show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 17:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4313640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenclawPianist/pseuds/RavenclawPianist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A friend on tumblr wanted something based on Asexual!Fred and I kind of ran with it. </p><p>"It's not always about holding hands," he'd said, eyes dark and voice matter-of-fact. She hadn't been able to come up with a response. For Fred, sometimes holding hands was enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel the series, or the characters.

"It's not always about holding hands," he'd said, eyes dark and voice matter-of-fact. She hadn't been able to come up with a response. For Fred, sometimes holding hands was enough. 

The first time she'd had to tell Charles that she wasn't really interested in taking their brand new relationship any further than kissing, she'd been terrified. After all, her five years spent in Pylea and resulting craziness had been enough of a struggle. Now she had to admit that there was something wrong with her and maybe that would be enough to change Charles' mind about her. 

Thank God it hadn't been. He'd looked wary when she told him they needed to talk, sitting down on the couch in the front part of her suite and watching her pace and wring her hands as she tried to figure out how to start.

"I don't want to have sex with you," Fred ended up blurting out, Texas accent getting thick again as it usually did when she was nervous. "I mean, you're wonderful Charles, and so sweet and very nice to look at, but I've never- and it scares me- and I've never even wanted to with anyone. Admittedly, there weren't really options in Pylea, but even before then I just wasn't interested. The kissing is nice and holding hands and hugging, but I just don't think I can do anything more than that." Fred stopped her pacing, looking at Gunn nervously. "Is that alright?"

He sat in silence for a minute before standing up and wrapping her in a hug. "Yeah, we're alright. I mean, sometimes I still can't believe I even get to kiss you. If you don't want sex, we don't have to have sex." 

Fred had loved him, and he'd loved her, but after she took revenge on the man responsible for her five years of misery they were never the same. A secret stood between them, filling the space where they usually met. 

"It's not always about holding hands," Wesley had said, and although Fred knew what he'd meant, she heard something else. 

Holding hands was sweet and simple. So was Gunn. She probably would have been able to be happy with him for her whole life if they hadn't both realized they were capable of murder. Fred could have been happy, but sweet and simple happiness wasn't always enough. She was the kind of girl who needed a challenge, needed to be able to grow and evolve. Wesley gave her that space and opportunity. When she was in trouble, she turned to him (always had, really), and he helped her find a solution. He understood her when no one else could or would. She loved him for that and so many other reasons. 

When Fred told him, the night after their kiss in his office, that she wasn't interested in sex, he shrugged. "Alright," Wesley kissed her again, hands in her hair and lingering over her lips. "You are still welcome to spend the night, you know. We can curl up together and talk. Honestly, I'd be happy just to hold you." 

Fred smiled into their next kiss. "That sounds perfect." 

They fell asleep on the same pillow, her hair under his cheek when they woke up. He kissed the crease in her cheek from the pillow and she hugged him more tightly around the waist. "Do we have to go to work?" she whined, leaning her forehead on his shoulder. 

"We probably should," Wesley sighed. "At least to make sure Angel has returned to his usual form." 

Fred grinned as they got out of bed. "It's almost a shame. I liked puppet Angel."

"Don't let him hear that," Wesley recommended. "Although, on second thought, you might be the only person who could say that to him and not be fired." 

They'd been so happy, and the week they'd had was too short, Fred thought frantically as she felt her fever increase. Wesley sat beside her bed, book in hand while she was supposed to sleep. Tears gathered behind her eyelids. They were supposed to grow together, challenge each other, and maybe someday go back to Texas and sit on rocking chairs and reminisce about when they lived in Los Angeles and fought monsters. She sat up with her head in her hands, tears mingling with sweat. 

Wesley immediately moved to sit with her on the bed, arms around her. "Shh, you need to rest. You'll be alright."

She shook her head. "Could you have loved me?" Fred whimpered, remembering again his words -it's not always about holding hands. She'd known what he'd meant, and she wouldn't ever have been able to give him that. "Could you have loved me?"

He kissed her forehead, holding her closer. "I've loved you ever since I've known you. Maybe even before that."

She shook harder with tears as the fever grew and she felt everything inside her turn to fire. "Tell my parents I wasn't afraid," Fred demanded. "Tell them," everything burned "I wasn't afraid."

She felt Wesley begin to cry as he clutched her to him, and she did her best to brush a kiss against his shoulder. "I wasn't afraid," Fred repeated, letting go as the fire took over her body.


End file.
